"wow. you're here. and drinking." he wore a leather jacket over a simple tee and faded jeans. sensible, trendy. toby had good taste. see already I was getting to know him a lot more.
toby somberly looked down at the cup in his hands. "it tastes awful." he grimaced at me offended.
i laughed knowing how terrible it tasted. "thats why i brought this." i showed him the cup kira gave me.
it wasn't cold but it was better than nothing. I wasn't sure why I even brought it with me.
toby looked at it. "can i try?"
I stared at him unable to string a coherent sentence together. "s-seriously? i mean...well are... i guess so." i smiled feeling less awkward when he smiled back.
in two short paces toby stood in front of me. i let him take my cup since i didn't plan on finishing it. "you're right." he gave it back nearly empty.
i watched toby dump his cup on the ground without mentioning how the disposal of unwanted items was killing our ecosystem.
"nowhere for the holidays?" i asked unhealthily observant.
toby went back to his place standing by the tree. "you don't like silence do you?" he put his back to me and crossed his ankles.
it was the opposite actually but i would have never said that. when i was with him i couldn't stop talking. it was good that chanel wasn't around to comment on my abnormal behavior.
toby looked so far away from me as he watched the surrounding flatland. "its just me." he murmured. wind blew stands of his black hair round his cheek.
"i'm sorry." i said before the lull in conversation kept on.
"don't be." toby looked at me for a short amount of time. "I've made peace with it along the way."
i walked over and stood beside him making sure not to trigger his agoraphobia.
across-the-board the quad was calm save for distant people that were strolling in the opposite direction where we stood on foot.
"what happened?" a distinct accent pronouncing words i had just said echoed, multiplying a similar two-worded question.
i watched as toby observed the grey clouds for a moment in solace. his face hard like the famous statues on the buildings i'd seen countless times.
toby sighed glaring onward. "I thought I knew everything. i didn't listen and chose to ignore their pleas of compassionate salvation." he stopped talking and faced me. "have you ever done something without realizing who it would hurt?"
"yeah, yeah i have." i say.
not wanting him to see what I looked like I turned my head and rubbed my nose. bullshit. I didn't even know why I was crying.
I wasn't an emotional person and I had such a hard time talking with words about how I was feeling so this came unexpectedly. and it happened right in front of toby. Gah. so embarrassing.
for saving grace eventually i glanced back at toby.
he could manipulate others but not me. beneath his tough exterior we had a connection that made it impossible for him to fool me.
I recognized the bottled up feelings of confliction and remorse. i just hoped all that residual anger he felt wasn't directed towards himself.
Toby's voice was low and sad. it was strange to hear coming from him and letting me be with him in that instant felt something special. like he was giving me a rare treat.
"my stupidity killed them." he choked.
i crossed my arms convinced by his innocence. "well, i refuse to believe you were the cause of their death. you're a jerk but you're no killer." he needed someone to give him a break and i wanted to be that person.
"I don't know what you've heard but families love unconditionally especially when they're fighting. whether you're off course or took a detour from your intended plans just know that you're in safe hands. you need to trust that too."
i knew toby was confused by the way he looked at me. furrowed brows of disbelief. a small barely wide grin.
"I don't get it. why are you being so nice to me?" his genuine question was a no brainer
i shrug peering away from his intense gaze. hard to talk to him when he stared at me like that. too intimate. too personal. "because you shouldn't be carrying all that inside of you. its unhealthy." all i did was take wesleys advise and turned it around for his benefit.
"i'm doing fine." he grunted, agitated.
i didn't want to ruin anything by testing his limits. "well, i should get going." there was only so much real toby could handle plus he was showing streaks of bitchy. time to check out.
I walked up the hill and followed the familiar cobblestone pathway that lead to the guys dorm only this time I wasn't making any stops.
i bumped into wesley on my way back.
a beanie prevented wandering threads of blonde hair from obscuring his eye sight. smiling Wesley brought me in for a hug. "there you are. i've been searching for you." he looked behind me only to find nothing.
i scratched my head knowing toby was long gone by now. "yeah. i got lost." I lied.
I figured it was best not to mention the run-in i had with rider. i didn't want Wesley to get upset over nothing. plus, this was his party. better to leave the past where it belonged.
wesely stared at me hesitantly. his brown eyes locked into mine as if he could pull out where i'd really been the last five minutes. "kira wants to leave." he says at last
this time i made sure to stick right behind wesley. i had learned my lesson after getting lost and i wasn't keen on letting that happen again. "okay but why?" i walked alongside him.
wesley shrugged. "not sure." he admitted uncertain. Wesley raised an eyebrow. "but she got really mad all of a sudden." he grinned.
we laughed knowing how she could get sometimes. i noticed we followed that same cobblestone pathway i took. soon enough we had ended up at masons front door.
i ran up to kira, alarmed.
"ready to go?" i ask searching her eyes
brows narrowed kira nodded her head. finally we locked eyes. kira put her arm around me but didn't smile. "yeah." her usual bravado gone.
i walked beside her like glue and said nothing when kira sighed. i wasn't sure how to approach her so i let it go. besides, when she was ready i was prepared to listen.
"i don't know." chanel floated by studying kira. it didn't take her much effort to find me. "she had a good time dancing with that blue haired guy. I thought they looked good but maybe I was wrong."
really, i was impressed that chanel had stayed quiet for so long. "a little scrawny for my taste but easy on the eyes." she glided next to me keeping pace.
Jordan didn't seem like her type. then again, the same could have been said about mason. whatever. I was going to stick with what I knew best.
i looked at kira speed walking.
kira caught a round ball of substance silver in color that was shiny as it fell down. "can you believe it?" kira says as she threw the glob up in the air.
"uh. what are you doing?"
kira grabbed it one-handed and squeezed. "when i find out who put this in my purse im going to choke them with it." by the look in her eye she meant it.
i repeated words to her. "in your purse?" whatever that unlucky person did was going to severely regret it.
kira was resourceful not to mention innovative at her word of promising hurt.
kira nodded. "it was in my locker." the way it was said didn't point the suspicion at me though i couldn't help but wonder.
finally i understood masons developed behavior over days past. why he would prank kira of all people stumped me.
i was that persons aid in crime. granted i wasn't aware of what he was doing but that didn't matter. kira was not going to just let it go.
i kept that little secret to myself and never said who did it. as far as it concerned me kira never spoke of it again.
although she'd arrived to class late one morning happy for no apparent reason. at that same time mason had sported a bruise on his upper lip. however it was unknown if both incidents were relative in nature.
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