chapter 55 *Wingspan*

it didn't take long for me to get accepted into Mya's crowd.

as a rule they didn't cared that i had no clue as to who was in a couple, one of them being Tasha and Brian.

"i know, right? that's what i'm saying." Tasha enthusiastically agrees with Mya while i mentally puked my brains out.

it was still a mystery to me why i considered mya a friend. i liked to read; she watched mel gibson movies. i hated how awkward i felt when i was forced to have a conversation with people who weren't interesting to me in the slightest; Mya never shut up. 

on the plus side they were all super nice not to mention helpful when it came to understanding a particular history assignment they'd already done a year before. which was great because the headmistress was on a rampage. 

currently we were on our way to the gym and whether i liked it or not i was getting to know Rachel a little bit better.

ordinarily at lunchtime i wouldn't talk to Rachel since i sat on the other end of the table far away from her.

i had to say the element of our conversation definitely explained a lot about the person Rachel was. And by that i mean her complete and utter fascination with boys. 

unlike the ring leader, mya, who i'd learned had brought the group together, Rachel sported a trendy yet fashionable red-head bob with one side bangs and a side parting. Rachel's hair was the least intense thing about her. 

Rachel was a very attractive girl even with the nose and lip ring.

we had different ideas in mind when it came to fashion and what looked best. 

Tasha, miss chipper pretty princess, had a thing for pink; and what i mean when i say she liked pink, i'm taking pink everything from her purse to her cellphone, even her designer socks were a light shade of pink because to Tasha nothing was more important than putting together the perfect outfit.

while Tasha stuck to a singular color pallet, mya didn't adopt her best friends style with purple socks and a blue-washed denim jumpsuit. 

if i had dressed for comfort in long cotton shirts and sweatpants, then Rachel chose her outfit according to how her spirit and enthusiasm spoke to her on that given day.

like a black angel rachel had on hand-picked clothing and accessories better fit for a Queen of Darkness going to a Punk Rave. she carved her own unique style with a collection of alternative and tattoo inspired clothing featuring skirts, pants, jackets and complete outfits with confidence.

"all of you are obsessed with love; that has nothing to do with having sex. if the guy has a perfect body than i'm down for whatever he wants. and if he has a friend who knows better than to call me baby after biting and tasting my fingertips than i wouldn't mind keeping him in my bed." with a sneer Rachel thumbed her rose Victorian necklace and grinned at a baffled Tasha who didn't believe in open relationships. 

laughing because i'd known that Rachel was giving Tasha a hard time, i stared at the polly bee that dangled low on rachels winged corset top thinking the yellow stone looked cool. 

usually i wouldn't think multiple accessories worked but Rachel was able to pull it off. 

her Gothic attire from head to toe was chosen with care and afterthought. white bone pastel knee high socks were pulled over slashed leggings and bleeding heart studs hung from her ears.

not for the first time i thought i didn't belong here. 

there was nothing stunningly spectacular about me, unless you counted my grey eyes. i loved how uncommon my eyes were. 

being shy didn't help matters. 

plus, i had a thing about not getting too close because i felt like i was play pretending with these gorgeous rich badasses who would get their happy ending and that always got me looks whenever someone tried to hug me or sneak up on me from behind with a peck on the cheek. 

i knew what happened when people were dead and gone and i would by lying if i said that knowledge didn't change me. 

what was the point in not sleeping like princess royalty and flipping through channels thinking 'for now i'm in love enough to fight' only to end up cursing the last time they were drunk and alone.

even when they weren't together Tasha was miss prim and refused to talk about sex stuff with Rachel who seemed to love embarrassing Tasha every time she was around. 

mya knew how to handle Rachel and flying like birds do mya would come to Tasha's side and defend her. 

it went like that back and forth forever until Rachel wrapped her diamond studded finger around someone else and pushed their triggers. 

even though i ate lunch with these girls i didn't know anything personal about them. and i sure wasn't thinking about coughing up long-held secrets on a dare, that i talked to my best friend who was dead. 

Rachel was friendly and even went out of her way to include me in certain conversations. 

i didn't want to be rude so i just smile and nod each time i heard my name. 

it seemed to do the trick and made them believe i was interested in what hot boy was the most likely to be at the movie premier on Friday which was now two days away. 

No sports today verbalized Ms. Pratt. in fact, we hadn't gone into the locker room at all. 

there was a paper tapped to the door about us having to meet in the gym and don't get dressed because we weren't running today. 

i wasn't sure what we were going to do but at least it had nothing to do with me having to participate and "Going for the ball".

there were many reasons for the wide overjoyed smiles. 

winter break was just around the corner and all people could talk about was what exclusive part of the world they were going to that wasn't snowy and wet thanks to their snobby rich parents.

Grunting, i lift the pad on my backpack higher on my shoulder. since we couldn't have access to the lockers i had to carry my loaded backpack with me to the gym. Total Bummer. 

again i meditated what this new surprise was that called for staying in our regular clothes that restricted most of us girls from bending down and warming up, unlike being dressed in the jockey shorts and loose cotton tee that gave us the ability to move freely and with perfect form.

whatever ms. pratt had in store for us involved the boys because i'd seen an identical paper that matched ours posted for them to see first thing. and though i didn't hear them coming after us i knew they couldn't be far away.

"definitely Toby." mya says out loud. there was one thing i'd always wanted to ask but never gone through with. -and that was, if mya was so interested in toby how come she never broke his shell?

Rachel snorts. she looks directly at mya with a frown. "eew. seriously? i'm starting to judge all your personal choices." 

honestly, Rachel had no filter.

mya only smiles, her flush cheeks stretching and enlarging.

Aaand I wanted to barf.

huffing, Rachel cuts a glance to the blonde in pink. "tasha, what about you?" Rachel asks even though i was certain she already knew the answer.

tasha smiles tenderly. "my boyfriend, of course." she crones.

Rachel rolls her eyes. "BORING. tasha, its not cheating if you say another boys name, you know. come on guys we're hot and have sick bods not married and spoken for. would it kill you guys to have, lets see, umm, an IMAGINATION. because, i dunno, your curious and want to see what it would look like not to be a nun, have a boyfriend, and to get over bad taste in crushes?" Rachel turns toward me smiling like a wicked trickster.  

i don't move when rachel puts her arm around my shoulder because i was still trying to understand why Rachel thought i would ever marry into a convent. 

i'd done the research back when i was considering all options for my future and i found out that completing regimented courses and passing them wasn't all devout sisters had to do in order to become nuns; they also went through what was called the fourth step into becoming a nun: The Novitate who for two years is given designated housing with other sisters.

during which time she is considered a member of the community however there is no permanent commitment. 

church law requires a full calendar year during which one focuses on the spiritual life, the vows, the history of religious life, and the charism of the institute (the gift that the community is to the church). the purpose of the novitiate is to deepen the call to follow Christ as a member of the community. 

at the end of the novitiate you can request to enter into vows or you are free to leave the community. 

its safe to say that calling wasn't for me. 

"aislin, sweetie, i desperately need your opinion because these two are lame-o courtesans and have zero powers of imagery." Rachel pointed at them pouting.

i glance over to my left. Clearly Mya and Tasha weren't listening to Rachel's complaining. 

Tasha had a faraway emptiness in her eyes and i was pretty sure that smile was meant for her boyfriend. come to think of it, they were close and seemed to really like each other.

i shrug unsure. "i'm not sure. i haven't really been paying attention to anyone."

Rachel smirks. "mm-hm. what about Wesley?"