Until recently i learned the truth about the world. That nothing is what it seems. No one is who they say they are. i learned the hard way there are worse things than the boogeyman. Don't believe in what people say because when you see the truth for what it really is it should scare you into making you want to run.
After chasing Rider away Wesley came back to Starkhouse ready for war. I go to a reformed high school for overindulged brats with an attitude that have rich parents except unlike them I got in with a scholarship because of my mental health issues. Suddenly I'm the poster board for mentally unstable.
Since our main threat was gone it was safe for me to finish out the remainder of our senior year. Hello my name is Aislin Striker. i'm sixteen and i would love to be normal. but normal is one thing i'm not.
for one thing I have a gift. I can see ghosts. Yes just like in the movies. But what TV doesn't tell you is how much claiming to be a medium messes up with your social life.
there were always new ghosts that needed help crossing over. i help people who are just about to die.
not normal
i can leave my physical body by appearing to them as what they think an angel should look like.
As far away from normal as it gets.
And finally until recently I found out I was a full blown angel. -the wings hadn't grown in as of yet and i was ripping fingernails because from what i'd heard it was a painful one time experience.
definitely not normal.
i still had no clue what angel i was and i gave up on needing answers right away.
There was one normal thing that i could definitely go without. Unfortunately the people in my life sought fit to think otherwise.
I had to admit Kira looked beautifully elegant in her black princess petal dress with matching strap on ribbon heels. Her dark makeup enhanced her violet colored eyes and apple round cheeks. "now, i know you said no birthdays, however, turning eighteen does only happens once." because it was Kira we let her give a toast. at least it was a short one.
-i didn't say it was a good one
Of course everyone laughs when she finishes. No matter what part of St. Petersville they were from nobody could escape Kiras magnetic charm. It came with the responsibility of being an angel. Apparently we had an irresistible halo that drew people to us.
Kira was nothing like chanel and yet we had become the best of friends despite our immature differences. i looked at wesley from across the buffet table and smiled back at him. there was a void that could not be filled inside of wesley and that was okay because at least he wasn't shutting me out.
when people start chanting i stand up and look back at them.
as for toby, the twins- danika and joshua- kept him busy with their tendency of overstepping boundaries both in the shadowland world and the human world. (i still considered their friendship dysfunctional, however, when it mattered they got things done.)
"Speech Speech Speech!" they all chant excited, happy, jubilant.
i smile widely.
looking around the table at my friends i couldn't help but feel grateful. i hadn't felt this good in a long time and the devil on my shoulder started whispering things in my ear. I tried to block the internal doom that kind of always ruined everything for me.
So I was getting used to my new life. There didn't have to be catastrophe jumping out from every corner I see.
"Okay Okay." i yell so that my voice could be heard over the midnight city song that was blasting through kiras new computer.
Maybe things weren't always going to feel this great. That was all apart of the package. Nothing was ever supposed to go smoothly all the time because that left the magic out of it.
"All happy thanks go to my dear and fabulous friend Kira. Everyone thank Kira for having such a great and happy night this was all her wonderful doing i couldn't hold a candle stick to her in comparison." i say clapping and garnering joshuas attention from out of the corner of my eye and keep the dialect going before the rowdy crowd got too eager and started getting out of their seats before i got a chance to get a word in edgewise.
I motion my hands to try and wrestle them quiet. "Lets keep the merriment festivities going shall we? eat cake, dance hard and have fun everyone!" i say blowing the candles to commemorate the occasion.
-i had a lot more strength and because of that i needed to be more careful. apparently my symptoms would grow a lot worse over the next upcoming days and i was supposed to take it easy.
only problem with that is i didn't want to. i liked the power. i liked feeling confident and more sure of myself.
i didn't say anything about feeling in control. there were a lot of times i had to explain why i could suddenly run faster than Mya and i was coming short on giving away realistic explanations.
-the added strength wasn't so bad neither.
who wouldn't want to be me. i could hear couples arguing outside of a building, in the span it would take me a good thirty minutes i could write my history essay in under one minute and forty-three seconds.
basically i was superman only better. Sure, i was still getting used to purposefully finishing last in p.e but all i had to do was turn my head and know that someone was there to guide me through it every step of the way.
i roam across the dance floor with a lack of difficulty while everyone else was busy getting their piece of rum cake that was supposed to be made by some famous international baker. Instead of eating I had something else in mind.
honestly i felt relieved once i got away. in keeping true to simple style it was none other then my genius plan to have converse on my feet, an exceptional present from Toby i might add. he remembered my other sneakers got trashed which was why it was nice of him to give them to me.
i look up and indiscreetly catch a certain boys eye instantaneously feeling more giddy. it felt good knowing Toby was around.
when i came back from the catacombs i let toby in on everything pravuil said to me that fateful day. the other angels in starkhouse were shocked at what they overheard but they were certain the potion the galactic historian gave me would work. -when it didn't i'd stopped waking up in the mornings feeling guilty that i couldn't remember.
It was nice outside. A little darker now but thankfully hanging white icicle lights surrounding the entire gazebo created more than enough light to make up for it. for the most part i was anonymous as i cruised past happy go lucky people unless someone recognized my fuchsia feather dress then it would have been more difficult to blend in with a mob of dancers.
with a hand covering part of my face i bypass poor unsuspecting wesley as i hurriedly zoom past him when his back was turned. I was certain his eyes had been searching for me and I felt like being alone. this was my time to just...recollect on everything since so much has happened.
i didn't break a sweat as i took elaborate strides to sidestep friends and somewhat familiar faces as people danced in large circles. this was more kiras party than mine since i barely knew half the guests that made it but thats what added to the anonymity.
it got darker the further i walked to the entrance of the gazebo.
each step that i took felt heavy as if the floor was a part of the cosmos itself. i knew kira had lights in every post of the gazebo thats why it didn't make sense when suddenly i could barely see past my two hands.
whether by the influence of hypnotic music or due to a lack of food intake my body movements turned sluggish and unhurried.
i look up at the phosphorescent sky in awe of the multiplex positioning of stars. my view was cut short when i got distracted by the presence of another person that was close by.
ahead of me i see a tall formidable boy wearing an unmistakable leather jacket going in the opposite direction walking away from the happy chanting crowd. I follow him just to see where he was going.
not once did toby ask anyone to dance so he couldn't have been tired so why was he going back to his dorm when there was still daylight for.
the whole time he took any opportunity to hide from people it was like he wasn't even there. his tendency to evade everyone was not going to work this time. i had toby right in my sights and he didn't even realize it.
grinning, i position myself so that i could ambush him into talking to me.
Then something happened. i had to stop for a second because whatever that was happened really fast. Like a light of energy coming from great central sun awareness shot down from the cosmos and aimed directly at my head hitting my heart center something fierce and hard.
for a second i didn't know if my brain was making things up or i was really seeing things.
then i remembered something a memory that felt almost dreamlike. a flashback memory that taunted me, a recognition of a memory that mocked me, a flash from the past that teased me. a relented recollection of a memory then floated from the hidden crevices that was locked inside that spot that held information in my brain.
The secret to the illusions were being uncovered. our mission was to declare ourselves free from a tyranny that has been rampant for spans of time. I was here to help humanity that much i knew from the beginning.
Like awakening from a spell i could recall every For Instance Cautionary Tale that warned me what not to do. i knew without question every explanation for my being born. i understood every wordless wake-up call that awakened the atoms inside my body, i could hear every human lesson i needed to get past, i appreciated what wheel of fortune i was destined to partake in.
-And all of this happened within seconds that began with a shift in energy.
i was recycled, reconstituted for a purpose. this wasn't me channeling a ghost. this was something bigger. something more urgent that needed my immediate attention. and it happened with a Bang.
A big shift was occurring. i was awakening to my healing powers and i radically underwent stages to overcome my limiting blocks which severely limit my powers through vibration at this current point in time.
- i was not only undergoing a radical superficial change but a deep transformation one that went straight to the root of the problem, straight to the core of the apple tree of Who I Am as a daughter of the creator.
i saw this body as nothing but a gateway to many dimensions and vibrations from the lowest to the angelic.
I had all the tools necessary to help contribute to the future of humanity. with my friends by my side i could do it all.
The answer of what Needed to be done could be found in my heart he'd said. it would tell me what i need to do. after all the heart is my biggest tool. for inside the heart i find high vibrations. but first i have to Find the right key and ascend to the fifth dimension and higher he'd told me.
it was crystal clear to me that i had a very special mission to accomplish in this lifetime. along with that is the inner desire to dedicate my life in service of humanity. i was living in a special lifetime right now.
i chose to do what he'd asked of me. this was all for him. i was doing something that has never been done before and so that's why it was so risky; to ride the ascension wave with the planet with all of our bodies- emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental had never been heard of. Let alone conceived.
the major obstacles time and again proved to be the Archons. Deceptive agents that work for the dark side who are making this planet a living hell more like it.
Oh and did I mention they also wipe out memory so that i wouldn't know who i was or be able to carry out my missions. their lifetime errand was to keep me distracted and confused so that i cannot make informed choices about my reality or so that i can make no choice at all.
Uncovering this illusion will make the illusion dissolve a voice i trusted told me.
the archons are the real darkness in this world. they were the filth that heaven wanted to get rid of but it was too risky for them to take any chances on their own so they went with the rogue angels instead.
fallen angels have no alliance in the history of the world and so that's why god chose me. i was the perfect candidate he'd explained to me.
his radical never been done before idea was dicey to say the least but i knew if i didn't do this one thing i would regret it. if done right we could bring about harmony and peace thats all we wanted. A new Golden wave for a better age. This was 'the Big One'. Our reconstructed plans to balance key line energies became brutally interrupted by these archons.
i just knew all of my incarnations were planned in order to have the experience necessary to incarnate into this lifetime as Aislin so that i could shift to the age of Aquarius. But something during my fall went horribly wrong.
Like in a holographic matrix illusion that runs collective hive mind brains I move forward inch by inch in a circle of my own thoughts and get nowhere like a snake eating its tail. flashbacks of a males energy come to my fore-mind.
Along with that vision he comes with a strong halo attached to him. i recognize him knowing that he's familiar. the emotions that come next i recognize also. companionship, love, help.
Like finding the exit door that lies within the circle of a star gate that leads to all answers within, a glimmering white vibration appears like a separate atmosphere. that white gleam of light pulsates as it hovers fusing in with the people that were around me. it was obvious they couldn't see it.
a man came up to me as he rode the waves of the color spectrum. i could clearly see an angular face, a strong nose, cleft chin. Black hair. Icy blue eyes. Small full lips. "Are you coming" he asks me.
i knew he was worried about me but i had to push him forward. i wanted to go with him this time but something in me wouldn't budge.
i saw the shadow self of a man as he stared back at me, waiting. A strangers eyes that somehow look familiar.
"Yeah." I say trying to get a good look at him but my vision faltered.
the halo of another ambiance inthe air cracked and rippled as it disintegrated. ignoring my doubts i start to follow him. One heart stopping hurtle at a time I walked over to where Toby was standing by himself in the corner.
i shook my head to re-balance myself. Okay i think shakily. so that happened.
Weird how things could change in the space of days
This was the least unsettled i'd felt in months. I was no longer dangling in the precipice of a black hole no now I was just close to the edge, which was slowly crumbling.
Terrified wasn't the word for admitting I wanted to be with Toby. Yet I had a bigger fear. What if Toby rejected me? I had a bad feeling but I kept that to myself.
That gradual unfurling knot in my chest was amazing as I thought about an actual future with Toby. Was it possible to be happy. I didn't know but I was about to find out.
I cleared my throat my stomach once again performing acrobatics. I yearned to hold Toby pull him in tight and say everything I needed to say but that darn knot in my chest was a straight up tangled mess. Until I could pick up the words and unravel my thoughts and feelings nothing would come out right.
"Toby" I whispered feeling shaky and uncertain.
toby was wearing a black robe just like the one he wore when he was full angel. no one else could see him but me.
toby smiles grabbing my hand. he must have turned on his aluminata spell so that he could slip past the crowd without any human noticing.
i look up at his face and a flood gate of memories turn into sensory overload. when its over my vision of toby changes and i'm back to dodging a dance train.
i continue my search for toby among the crowd spotting him immediately since no one else was leaving the party two hours early.
i block him from moving. "it was you-" i say
his eyes were dark and cagey- like he was expecting the beginnings of a joke. "huh?" his puzzled frown made me smile in wonder even if he was looking at me like i was a bubbling idiot.
if toby knew then he was playing me.
either way, i was sure he would run so i close off all empty spaces on the dance floor to prevent him from leaving. i open my legs as wide as the skirt would allow and i opened my arms out big and wide. toby's back hit a wall so there wasn't much wiggle room.
perfect. i grin from ear to ear.
with no speech prepared beforehand i played it off by ear. "i'm azrael." for the first time ever my birth made sense. i was no longer a lost girl unsure of herself. i had intention and a great amount of strength to see things through.
tobys stone like face turns pale white. "no" he whispers. "thats not possible." toby backs away from me resisting to listen. "shes dead." he says
to not startle him any further to the point where he could make a run for it i slowly start to advance towards him.
taking it as a good sign that he didn't move i lovingly graze the side of his cheek. "does my touch not feel real?" i whisper right back to him.
i didn't care that i could smell his cologne. all those boundaries i created were just to prevent myself from experiencing more torment. this was something real that i wanted to feel. i wanted to get so much closer.
there was no reason to keep a wall up anymore. i knew who i was and most importantly what damage needed to be corrected in order for us to move on. i could see the hurt in his eyes. i wanted to ease any pain that my absence influenced. sadly, that was only possible if he too brought down his guard.
i knew abbadon well. he was a man of honor and he would not react on a whim. thats why i made the move first.
standing on my toes i reach for the back of tobys neck lowering his head down to kiss him gently on the lips while he was still shell shocked. it was a good sign that he didn't push me away so i kept going. whether it was to keep me up on my toes or him just being plain stubborn i couldn't say why toby kept his mouth shut.
He was still and silent. When a smile tugged at the corner of his pink lips I knew I had him.
i didn't stop when he grabbed me tight nor did i resist his determined seizure of my tongue. While he stood back in the corner, tired and rumpled he looked gorgeous all the same. I'd given up no longer trying to stop my thoughts of Toby.
What i found was those thoughts and feelings weren't as scary as I thought they would be.
My heart thudded in my ears as I kissed toby back.
Standing on my toes I urged him forward and gently slowly pressed my lips to his. The air i held rushed through my nose.
I moved slowly at first, learning his mouth my tongue sweeping out and pursuading his in encouragement to enter mine. My hand tightened around his neck as I leaned him into the wall, letting him dominate my mouth.
Our lips came together into a scorching earth moving kiss that curled my toes together. When I'd been kissed breathless I pulled away already missing the moist heat the feeling of home. during the intoxicating give-and-take of our unique sexual energy i didn't know where i started and he began.
but of course, like so many things it came to end.
Toby looked at me chest heaving, eyes dilated, lips red, face flushed.
After a moment of gazing into each others eyes Toby eased back and released his grip on my neck only to bring his hand lower his long fingers gripping my hip with a firm squeeze.
i let toby keep me close by while he gathered his thoughts. "sorry." he said.
his grip on my back grew uncomfortable but i didn't mind. "for?" i was patient knowing how difficult it was for him to express his feelings.
"not being there." toby chokes out. "whatever happened to you i will never forgive myself." he whispers close to my ear.
i look up at him. "stop that right now. if anyone is going to feel sorry it should be me. i don't remember just yet but something caused me to bypass lifetimes." i tell him.
i can hear toby suck in his breath. "The circuit gridiron." toby exclaims.
i smile content that he brought up our term for the portal.
i suck in a breath nodding my head. "I know. We'll figure it out." i say.
there was a lot to fix. most notably all souls that were stuck on earth while i was gone unable to transport them. whatever happened next i could do so long as toby stayed by my side.
knowing that i had someone to count on really made all the difference. he might not think so, but thats okay. that was another thing. our relationship was going to take time to heal.
i let him down before. it wasnt going to happen a second time. it didnt matter what rider said. he was wrong. i had free will. and because of that nothing was ever going to make me choose differently. this was the path i chose.
sure, rider could entice me with his words and knowledge of the past but it would be all in vain. as for the future, that was an unforeseen future trip. so long as i had Toby everything would be okay somehow. together we would make it work. we had too. for mankind. for us.
"Hey you want to get out of here?" toby asks me
I smirk "what are you thinking?"
"I got a set of wings that are dying to burn stardust. You up for a ride." Toby asks challenging me
"Heck Yeah." I say jumping on his back
we were two perfect beings that complimented each other to bring about order for a more greater purpose.
i finally found him and i wasn't going to give up that easily. after all, the creator made him especially for me.
toby looked back grinning. "Hang on."
