So far this wintry weather was the only measurably acceptable phenomena that had left me feeling stationary and anchored. Lost and on my own silver clouds showered down my hope and peeled away my blinders.
I was falling fast to the ground and nothing was as clear as day.
In spite of all my fears I still had class to take and I had Mya and Wesley and all the other people who i'd made friends with that were normal and didnt have a clue. There were far too many people that were inanimate making their presence known and they were starting to take an interest in Chanel.
She'd insited that they had every right to make amends with their shadows and bow to them until they had called them under.
Trouble was, they were still here. Like aliens that didnt belong and were uninvited.
The excited people around me infected my mood. I knew what all the sighing was about, they were audibly backward counting.
Myself I was a cold snap away from performing jumping jacks on my tip toes before the bell rang. I wanted to Go.
GO, go, Go, go, go. GO!
No matter the turmoil that infected my insides, the energy in the air was very much calm and steady. It was a week until we officially whooped it up and made merry and all the students let off steam to meet with their parents at seperately exclussive corners of the country for school holiday.
Even Mr. Honeycott was surprisngly cool about letting us off the hoook.
Today I was in low spirits except my loneliness was easier to withstand because thankfully I had the right kind of people keeping me afloat. I considered myself lucky and blessed to have such a great bunch of people in my life that treated me like I was one of them.
Now that I had people I never imagined this was what I'd needed unti I'd met them. Crazy as this was going to sound, I Aislin the nobody, the freak, never wanted to let them go.
Their nearness made me smile and helped with the semtimental nostalgia that had prevented me from sleeping last night. Of all the months Winter was the hardest and December seemed to stretch on.
Despite what the good doctor had recommended I wasn't obligated to ask for a prescibed dose. I had a clear grasp of understanding and awareness that I had to go through this as a lesson that had to do with strength and power.
I had thick skin and my carnation and pinkish and punctured crystalline fickle heart echoed in my ears when I breathed leaving me an empty vessel with crooked teeth as I stood shaking like a leaf swirling through the winter wind.
"Watching this godamn thing makes me glad I'm alive and in this century. I dont know what i'd do without my boombox."
"Seriously Mason? Way to go old school dude." Mr. Honeycott was lax, his orange and purple tipped dreads drapped over his shoulder.
Mason rolled his eyes upwards and snorted, a dark glint of something in his green eyes. uh-oh. It was the perfect sunset before a jolting day.
Mason was never satisfied unless we all got defensive and people were being outed for somethning they did years ago. It made for great joke telling Mason had said. I knew what that look in his eye meant. He was up to no good.
Masons cheek twitched, a broad ear to ear grin creeping its way up.
"Please. The younger generation has it all and its way better than what you got anytime. What are you running on anyway? A stereo 8 system? My brother showed it to me once, claimed that year it changed his life, but if you ask me what he needed was to get out more, see some ladies."
"Its fairly simple mechanically, but from what I could tell too many difficulties in various prime areas; capstan wear and buildup, head alignment. Need I go on? I myself dabble in double tracking. I have it in my room. You havent seen my awesomeness." Masons light blue shirt fit him perfectly; I'm kind of a big dill.
Mr. Honeycott chuckled. He waved the clipboard with his hands, as if he were erasing the suggestion from the air.
"We get it. Most of you here are lucky and fortuate. Hows bout we get back on track to the main reason why I put this documentary on shall we? Any other conclusions, better ones, about what you have learned about the variation among individual human beings from size and shape, to skin tone to eye color?"
We'd been watching a roots documentray film that extended back 200,000 years, to the emergence of the first modern humans in africa and back more than 6 million years to the evolution of the earliest human species in Africa. It was an amazing story about adaption and survival composed in the language of our genes, in every cell of our bodies- as well as in the fossil and behavioral evidence.
"Plus they dont got delicious hot pockets, composting hasnt been invented for another hgundred and thousands of years, and nobody would get to see my creative skills." Josh had taken over the conversation where Mason had left it.
GEEZ. Super lame much. The testosterone in here was just gross.
"Youre the shit man. Wiz Wes and myself cant knack it when youre in the building. Matter fact, Big Champ..." Mason crossed his arms over his chest. And twisted his thin lips into an evil sardonic smile.
For whatever reason those two could not stand the other which was too bad because I thought both of them had a lot in common, even if they failed to realize it.
"Why dont you pack up and go back home and let the rest of us seniors get back to our happy lives when you werent here spoiling it for the rest of us."
Josh shrugged.
They had stopped reflecting on logic and jumped straight to judgement, if I understood correctly. I put two and two together and internally mimiced what Joshs body language meant into something like; What can I say, I'm blessed. Dont you wish you were as good as me. In my head I made him stick his tongue out.
Back to reality, I caught Mason rolling his eyes.
"Genius is genius. I have natural talent." Josh I shrugged and flicked his hand outward as if he were dismissing my friend some place else.
Fortunately the ringing of the bell interupted Mr. Honeycott from finishing his lecture. Thank. God.
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